From Rock Bottom to Learning to FLY
A few months ago I was collecting content for my eBook Learning to FLY and I came across the below journal passage which I wrote on March 10th, 2009. Exactly 6 years ago to the day that I re-found it. Since I don't believe in coincidences I knew I needed to share it with you - raw, vulnerable and unedited.
"3/10/2009… MISTAKEN IDENTITY… I have been living a lie... a life not for me but others... for family, for peers, for lovers and for society. Maybe this was the easier option. An easier choice. It would have been easy if I was not forever consumed with darkness, with unhappiness, with this unsettling feeling that there was more to me. More to life. I reached a point of no return. A point where I no longer saw the light. I was consumed. I was filled with this darkness. All I could do was surrender. Surrender to myself. Surrender to this feeling in my heart that there was more. More to me. This was the solution to discovering this so-called happiness, the solution was simply to find me. To realize what I want out of this life. What life do I want to lead? Who is Emily Jean Atkinson? To do this, just surrender. Just listen to my soul. Listen to my heart. I know this is the cure of my mistaken identity because I've seen the light, felt the warmth of this so-called happiness."
The Emily who wrote this seems like a stranger to me. She was so incredibly lost and unhappy. My heart had been shattered into a million pieces and I was consumed by darkness. Everything seemed hopeless, like I was struggling to stay afloat in a life I didn’t want. I thought happiness was an elusive illusion and something I would never find.
You see for years I lived a lie.
I lived a life for others. I hid my true desires within myself while I chased the American dream. I thought the shoulds of society were more important than my own dreams. The longer I lived this way, the more of myself I lost. Until I was unrecognizable. Eventually my unhappiness became paralyzing and change became inevitable. When I wrote the above journal entry this was rock bottom for me and a huge turning point in my life. The only place to go was up and up I went. I made a conscious choice to fight for my happiness and slowly began the process of transforming my life. 3 years later I hit another turning point, quit my job and walked away from life as I knew it.
This week I received a message from a reader asking, "How did you do it? How did you manage to just go for it?"
She’s referring to when I quit my job, walked away from life as I knew it and began the process of finding myself and redesigning my life. This quote by Elizabeth Gilbert from Eat, Pray, Love comes to mind,
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
As I mentioned above, my transformation did not take place overnight. I did not just decide that things needed to change and then “TAH DAH” everything was better. It was not a smooth sailing journey filled with sunshine, happiness and fucking unicorns. It was the opposite. It was (and sometimes still is) filled with turmoil, tears, ups and downs, getting lost, finding myself, and getting lost again. True transformation takes time.True happiness is something you have to fight for.There's no answer.There's no magic formula.You can't put a time frame on it.
The journey into yourself is the most difficult journey you'll ever embark on, but it's the only one worth taking.
From that moment on March 10th, 2009 when I hit rock bottom, the one thing that has not changed is my dedication, my devotion to fight for my dreams and stand up for what I believe in. To stand up for myself. The life you’re living is one option out of infinite possibilities. If you’re unhappy, stuck, unfilled, in a job you hate, etc… know this: CHANGE IS POSSIBLE! But you have to be willing to fight for it. You have to be devoted and dedicated to your own happiness. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to make your dream your reality. Because the truth of the matter is, if you're not willing to fight for your dreams no one else will either. Will it be easy, no. Will it be worth it? YES! If you’re ready for change, to start living your best life and to fight for your happiness, I have something to guide you along your journey, my new eBook Learning to FLY.
“Your go-to resource if you want to get unstuck and start building the life of your dreams.”
My own journey consisted of A LOT of trial and error, and I found there were things that really helped with my transformation. I have compiled all of these into an eBook style workbook consisting of 24 lessons, truths & tools. If you feel called to living a more fulfilled life, you can benefit from this beauty. And I’m not just saying it because I created her. I have personally used every principle in L2F to transform my own life and know she has the power to transform yours. Before I leave you today, I just want you to know that you deserve to live your absolute best life. You are worthy of everything you desire and so much more!
It's time to FLY sister,
XO, Emily
P.S. Here are some loving reviews of L2F
“Learning to FLY is a game changer. Not only is it beautifully designed, but it is chock full of insights, epiphanies, and inspiration to dig deep and get in touch with your inner guidance system. You will come away with a renewed vitality and clarity, and with practical steps to move forward towards your truest desires. This is your go-to resource if you want to get unstuck and start building the life of your dreams. Highly recommended!” Review by Katie Archbold Andrs
“About a year ago I found myself wondering who I was, what was my direction and purpose in life, why wasn’t I completely happy inside. I had noticed an old friend from high school (Emily) had started a company called FLY Living. Wanting to support a fellow small business owner I bought Learning to FLY and brought it with me on the 1st real vacation I had taken in years. I couldn’t put it down! I found all the exercises very very useful. By the time I returned, I started to feel more secure with who I was and had more direction in figuring out what I wanted from my future. I encourage everyone looking for a little more from life to take the time to dive into Learning to FLY.” Review by Heather Raawe StricklandCLICK HERE GET YOUR COPY!