What to do When Life Sucks & You’re Desperate for Change
Have you ever felt desperate for change? Like life sucks? Felt frustrated that life isn’t working out the way you want it too? Maybe you’ve just felt really low and nothing seemed to bring you much happiness?Lately, I went though one of these all consuming moods and it kinda sucked... actually it really sucked.Regardless of what I tried I just couldn't shake it and it seemed to go on for weeks.There's no magic formula to finding happiness, but times of turmoil are often the biggest catapult for transformation and self-discovery.
I believe there is always lessons to be learned, and here are a few I learned during my recent funk:
Inquiry within.
We carry the answers we need within us, we just need to ask the right questions. Times of feeling down and desperate are the perfect times to connect with this inner wisdom. Only you can know what question(s) to ask yourself, but feel free to use one of the below questions to guide you.What's the answer to my current situation? What am I meant to learn? What's next?You can inquiry within by asking yourself the question(s) out loud or you can use them for journaling prompts. Do what feels right to you. Also, don’t be judgy of what answer arises, trust it.
Embrace what is.
I inquired within by asking myself “what’s the answer?”One morning in the early dawn I heard the whisper, “What if you just embraced where you are? Embrace living where you live, embrace working where you work, embrace where FLY Living is, and embrace where your relationship is. Just embrace it all AS IT IS.”Since I know my inner wisdom always knows best, I dove into a journey of what it means to embrace everything as it is.
Byron Katie in her life-changing book Loving What Is says, “I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.”
When we fight our reality it gives control to everything that’s not working in our lives. When we embrace our reality (even if it doesn’t feel good) it creates space for what is to simply be. Once I stopped fighting my current situation, spaciousness was created and the desperation for change subsided. I began to feel lighter, happier and at more peace. Check in with your inner wisdom and ask how can you embrace life as it is in this moment?
Desire stemmed from desperation only leads to dissatisfaction.
Desire for change is what keeps us moving forward in life. It’s the driving force behind living extraordinary lives. It’s a great thing. When we feel good we desire change from a place of feeling good and therefore our desires are rooted in our best selves. But when we desire change from a place of feeling bad our desires are rooted in desperation. Desire stemmed from desperation only leads to dissatisfaction because the desires are not aligned with our best intentions, but rather with desperation. If you’re feeling desperate for change I would suggest going back to step one and inquiry within as to what you can learn from your current situation.
Life isn't meant to be taken seriously.
In low times it can be easy to retreat inwards, to spend hours zoning out in front of Netflix and let self-sabotaging negative energy consume us, but we always have a choice even in low times. When I stopped fighting my current situation and began to embrace what is, I naturally stopped taking life so seriously. There was no agenda to change something. This created space for more fun. The to do list was replaced with play. I began creating more and accessing my inner child. I began to feel happier, lighter and started smiling again for no reason. I know that down times can feel consuming and hard to shake, but turn off the TV, go outside, play, and be spontaneous.
Quit the complaining.
In down times it’s easy to get caught up in the “poor me syndrome”. Poor me my life sucks, insert complain, complain, complain. There are many blessings in everyday life - hot pink sunsets, blue moons, newborn babies, extreme acts of kindness by strangers, etc, but by complaining and being focused on what we don’t have, we miss them because we’re to preoccupied on the lack in life to notice the beauty.Complaining is like an infection that will only get worse if it’s not treated. I challenge you to quit the complaining for a week (or forever!).
Become a YES woman (or man)!
During this most recent funk I realized that not only was I complaining all of the time, but I also started saying no. Like I was a toddler who just learned the word - no, no, no, no, no!!!Once I noticed this I realized how many doors I had been shutting. Doors to new opportunities, new friendships, doors to play and having more fun - I was closing them all by saying no. In that moment, I decided to become a YES woman. I suggest doing the same. Say YES to what the Universe is bringing into your life instead of closing doors by saying no. And watch the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey. It’s a great perspective on what happens when you open up and start saying YES to life!
I know that feeling down can suck, but try to remember that it’s part of life. There’s no light without the dark, no yin without the yang, no high without the low. And remember to inquiry within, embrace what is, don’t seek change from desperation, stop taking life seriously, quit the complaining and say YES to life!!!
Cheers to turning frowns upside down,
XO, emily