10 ways to get unstuck!
During a recent client session the idea of how to get out of your own way came up. In this case, it was getting up early so she could start her day off right even though she’s not a morning person. She knows that this shift in habit could have a life changing impact on almost every area of her life, yet she still wasn’t doing it.My response, “Just fucking do it”.We both laughed and that push resonated deeply with her. So much that she put it as a reminder on her mirror.But what about when “just doing it” doesn’t resonate with you?
What about when you’re consumed with fear and stuck, the kind of stuck that feels like living in cement kind of stuck, what then?
If we want something so badly, why do we get in our own way? What’s really going on?
These questions intrigued me so I asked my Instagram Tribe how they get in their own way.Everything from fear of success, to fear of being truly happy, to overthinking and over-analyzing, to fear of not having enough money came up.
Here’s what I got from that… we all have our shit. Bottom line. We’re fucking human. Each of us has a story and saboteurs that we carry with us daily.
Living a fiercely authentic life can be scary. Really really scary!!! It takes determination and courage. Lots of courage.And to live that life, a life aligned with our truth, we must learn how to get out of our own way. We must learn to take action even when we’re consumed with fear.
I don’t believe being fearless is an attainable goal, but I do believe we can learn to dance with our fears, saboteurs, and all the shit that holds us back and keeps us playing small.
I’ve compiled a list of 10 ways to do so.
#1: Get to know your thoughts.
Being aware that you’re getting in your own way is the first step to getting out of your own way. Learning your thought patterns and how to separate the self-sabotaging thoughts from the best you thoughts is key.To do this, I suggest tracking your thoughts for at least one day. What excuses are you making? What reasons are you creating as to why you can’t do something? What story are you telling yourself? Really listen to the inner dialogue and track it all. It may surprise you of the thoughts you’ve been thinking without being conscious of it.
#2: Flip the script.
Most times it’s our thinking that keeps us stuck. Now that you’re clear on your thought patterns it’s time to flip the script. Flipping the script is all about replacing negative thoughts & patterns with positive ones. You are in control of what you think. It may take some time and practice, but you have the power to transform the thoughts you think.Replace words like “I can’t” with “I can” or “I will”When you find yourself coming us with an excuse, challenge that excuse by taking action anyways.I know that sometime it may not feel like it, but you are always in control of your life.
“Change your thinking. Change your life! Your thoughts create your reality. Practice positive thinking. Act the way you want to be, and soon you will be the way you act.” Les Brown
#3: Forgive yourself.
The past is the past. Let it go. You are not the actions of the past. You are not the same person you were a year ago. Forgive yourself of any past mistakes, failures, and bad decisions.I love this forgiveness exercise by Denise Duffield-Thomas of Lucky Bitch.comThe rest of your life starts today. Right here in this moment. Forgive yourself and move on.
#4: Embrace where you are.
Your current situation is not permanent. I know at times it may feel overwhelming and like nothing will ever change, but that is not true. Change is inevitable. The seasons are proof of that.In this blog post, I say, “ Fighting what is (our reality) is like swimming upstream against the current. The more we fight the current the more difficult swimming against it becomes.This analogy can be applied to life. The more we focus on negative aspects the worse the situation seems. For instance, the shitty job, the energy-sucking boss, the dirty dishes your spouse left, the traffic jam, etc.When we stop swimming against the current we float effortlessly downstream. All the energy that was being used to fight it can be used elsewhere.Fighting is exhausting and doesn’t leave much room for anything else. It creates inner turmoil, conflict and struggle.Once we embrace what is, all the energy we were using to fight is freed up. Spaciousness is created. There’s room for growth and new opportunities. The job doesn’t seem so bad, the boss can be dealt with, the dirty dishes are no longer a concern, and the traffic jam won’t last forever.”What lessons can you learn from where you currently are? What will it take for you to take a deep breath and lean into your current reality? How can you embrace where you currently are?
#5: Stop comparing!
I know that it can be easy to get caught up in a comparison state of mind. We see our friends blasting their “perfect lives” on social media, and we think, why don’t I have that? And then it makes us feel like we’re living a shitty mediocre life.But here’s the thing, comparison is the thief of joy. It really is. Everyone’s journey is unique and different. They’re on one path and you’re on another. And one is not better than the other.If you find yourself in a state of comparison, I would highly recommend unplugging from social media. It does wonders.
#6: Make better decisions.
This can be a hard one to swallow, but your current reality is the sum of the decisions you’ve made. If you want to get unstuck and live a more fulfilling life, make better decisions.I remember a time when I was miserable and stuck in the nine to five. After a soul sucking work day I would numb out my unhappiness by going out to bars every single night. I would then wake up hungover and do the same thing the next day. I was living in a never ending cycle of bad decisions.Once I started making better decisions my life improved significantly.The decision to get up early. The decision to go to yoga instead of happy hour. The decision to save money for that dream vacation instead of buying new clothes. All of these little decisions can have a life changing impact on the quality of our lives.
#7: Get support.
You do not have to do this alone. Get support. Talk it out with your closest girlfriends. Hire a Life Coach. Create a mastermind with women going through something similar. Regardless get the support that you need.
#8: Practice gratitude.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful mood shifters. If you feel overwhelmed and stuck, gratitude is a great place to start.When beginning a gratitude practice I suggest starting small. Be grateful for blue skies, sunshine, the sunset, the food in your fridge, and the breath in your lungs. There is always something to be grateful for.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Melody Beattie
#9: What would you do if you didn’t think it was impossible?
If you feel stuck, really stuck, I know that living your dream life may seem impossible. If you didn’t think it was impossible, what action steps would you take?I suggest having a journaling session where you ask yourself this question over and over again. If I didn’t think it was impossible, what action steps would I take? Stay in the inquiry and keep asking until you get inspired idea.
#10: Take action!
If you feel stuck, the most powerful thing you can do is take action. Action conquers fear. Every. Single.Time.
Even just a tiny weeny itty bitty baby step. I’m not asking you to quit your job, sell everything you own and move to Bali. I’m saying just to take one step in the right direction. Take one step today, and then tomorrow take another one, then another, and then so on.
I know this was a long one today, but I believe in you and I want you to live a life you fucking love! You deserve it.I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. What tips resonated with you from today’s post? What action steps can you take to get unstuck?And remember, you’ve got this.
XO,
Em