HOW TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES
Recently I was in the presence of someone who exudes negativity. Everything out of their mouth was a complaint, or "no", or "I can’t." In their presence I felt my body becoming tense, as if I was being pulled into their darkness.My mood shifted from happy to heavy. This person is what I like to call an emotional vampire.
Emotional vampires are the people who suck the positive energy right out of you. You may become tense, angry, or irritated in their presence. They thrive off of drama and chaos.
Who you surround yourself with has a direct impact on the quality of your life. If you surround yourself with negative people, you’ll bring negative circumstances into your life. If you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, you’ll bring positive circumstances into your life.You may be wondering why I was hanging with an emotional vampire. Well, life happens and sometimes we don’t have a choice. The truth of the matter is we have colleagues, bosses, and family members. You may even run into emotional vampires on the bus, at the grocery store, in traffic or walking down the street.
We can't control every person we come into contact with and their energy, BUT we can control how we react to them.
As I felt myself being pulled into this emotional vampire’s darkness, I paused, made a conscious choice to not get sucked in, and focused on gratitude. As I did this a slight smile crossed over my face.
In this moment I realized I had a choice. I could choose negativity & darkness, or light and love. I choose the latter.
Just because someone else lives in darkness, doesn’t mean we have to.
Here are some tips on how to deal with emotional vampires:
Take inventory:
The best way to identify an emotional vampire is to tap into your feelings. Take inventory of all of the people in your life - your co-workers, boss, family members, friends, etc. How do they make you feel? How many emotional vampires do you have in your life? How much time do you spend with them? Can you spend less time with them?The goal here is to start surrounding yourself with more positive, happy, uplifting people and weed out the negative ones. Like I mentioned, we don’t always have a choice of who we surround ourselves with, but we can make small shifts.For example, you don’t have a choice of who your co-workers are, but you can say no to going to lunch with (drama) Diane who spends her lunch break talking smack about everyone who passes by. You know the type. Avoid them. Misery loves company and so does negativity.
It’s OK to break up with friends:
After you take inventory you may decide to break up with some friends. I want you to know that this is OK. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. By saying no to relationships with emotional vampires, you’re creating spaciousness and room in your life for more positive people. Think of it as maintaining your garden. Do you want a lush beautiful thriving garden full of vibrant flowers? Or a garden overrun with weeds? Be selective of what you let take root.
Practice Gratitude:
Next time you’re in the presence of an emotional vampire think about what they make you grateful for. This can be the most powerful tool and there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. It doesn’t haven’t to be complicated. It can be as simple as, “I am grateful for (drama) Diane because she always wears the cutest outfits and inspires me to do so too”. Keep practicing gratitude until you notice a shift in energy.
And remember…
In the end it’s really up to you. You may not be able to select every person you surround yourself with, but you always have a choice. You can choose your thoughts. You can choose negativity or gratitude. You can live in darkness or light. You can get sucked into the drama or ignore it.
It’s your choice.
Choose wisely my friends.
XO, emily