A loving way to help you befriend your inner gremlins
Brazil's Archbishop Dom Holder Camera pointed his hand into the air, then slowly arched it around, until it turned on himself, his index finger pointing to his heart.
"I am my own worst enemy," he said, "my most difficult adversary. Here I have the greatest struggle for peace."
As humans we all struggle with this, with our inner gremlins and inner critics.
I choose to call them gremlins, but they're also known as demons, our shadows, whatever you choose to call them. They are part of you.If you’re thinking, “Yeah right, I don’t have them.” Hate to break it to you, but that’s a gremlin.I strive not for perfection, but to be my best self. Everyday is different and so is the level of being my best self. Some days are more difficult than others. Some days the inner gremlins take over. They invite all of their friends and have a raging party in my mind. Not good enough Nancy, jealous Julie and doubting Dahlia are always in attendance.Since bitch slapping my inner critic & gremlins is out of the question. I’ve found another approach for dealing with these pesky thoughts.
I recently found this pin. Me circa 1986. Soccer uniform. Side ponytail.
When my inner critic speaks up and I have a harmful, negative or self-sabotaging thought about myself I ask, "Would I be mean to this girl?"
The answer is always, "Absolutely not! I love her."At the same time, my wiser self responds with, “Exactly.”
The gremlins & my inner critic are silenced. It’s a tactic that they can’t argue with.
Gremlins believe they are serving us. They think they are protecting us. The problem is that they are caught up in an old story, in the past, and their ideas of how to protect us are no longer relevant.My gremlins are trying to protect little Emily. The little girl that had to deal with the death of her father and all the inner turmoil losing her father would cause her for years to come. Even though their intentions are pure, they are stuck in the 80’s. And lets be honest, the 80’s should stay in the 80’s!Since our gremlins are part of us, I believe in approaching them with compassion and love. After all, self-love is self-acceptance.
If we wish to be our best selves, we must learn to love our whole self unconditionally.
The good, the bad, the light, and especially those pesky gremlins.Using a picture of younger you is a tender approach and rooted in pure love.Each time I look at the picture of little me, which now has a permanent place on my desk, I fall more in love (especially with that side ponytail!).
Now it’s your turn to give it a go!
1. Find a picture of younger you. Choose an image that your best self and gremlins will love.2. When the gremlins or your inner critic speak up (because they always do), look at the picture and simply ask, “Would you be mean to this girl (or guy)?”3. I’d love to know about your experience in the comments below.4. Last, but not least, hop on over to Instagram & post your picture. Tag me @ematkinson_xo. I can’t wait to meet younger you!So much love to you and younger you.
XO, Emily
P.S. Before I leave you today, I wanted to share one of my favorite passages from Eat, Pray, Love. There was a time I read this passage daily.“So I’ve started being vigilant about watching my thoughts all day, and monitoring them. I repeat this vow about 700 times a day: “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore.” Every time a diminishing thought arises, I repeat the vow.The first time I heard myself say this, my inner ear perked up at the word “harbor”, which is a noun as well as a verb. A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. I pictured the harbor of my mind – a little beat up, perhaps, a little storm-worn, but well situated and with nice depth. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self. The island has been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under a new leader (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now let the word go out across the seven seas – there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.You may not come here any more with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts – all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways – you may not come here anymore either.Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind – otherwise, I shall turn you all back to the sea from whence you came.That is my mission, and it will never end.”